Holidays

Boy and I starting to miss my family more and more each passing day that is getting closer to the holidays. Halloween is today and already I feel so out of place. I didn't get a costume because they don't sell adult or teenager ones here in France... actually they do but only in certain stores and they don't wear them on Halloween day. Anyways, I miss everything I love I know about Halloween. The trick-or-treaters, the candy, the decorations, the atmosphere, the scariness, the friends, the laughs, and so on and so forth. I don't know how to explain the feeling of excitement of seeing what they DO here, but the depression of what they don't.

Another holiday that they don't celebrate here is Thanksgiving. The time when family sits around a big table of food and eat until they are about to explode even when there is more food to eat. I'm going to miss waking up way to early to cook for way to long only to eat for a short period of time. I'm going to miss all the family laughs and jokes, not to mention my dogs trying to get food and being under the table as we eat.

Christmas is also another one I will miss. Although they celebrate it here, I'm not with family. My new family here is absolutely amazing and I love them just like I do with my family back home, but it's still not the same. I'll miss my family decorating the Christmas tree and all the lights that are lit at Little America.  Missing all the presents that are given to everyone, all the smiles. My heart hurts so much with all that I will be missing.

I know I wanted to come here and I thought I was emotionally ready to be here. But I can't help but feel so depressed these next coming months. Not to mention the New Year too and my 17th birthday. I am going to miss everything back home and make so many memories. Is it weird I seem like I am contradicting myself?? Excited to see new things, but scared and depressed that I missing so much with my family and friends back home.....

Things Happen

Life doesn't stop being unexpected when you travel. I found that out today when I was at school and heard a teacher had attempted suicide. I am and was so scared and confused. It didn't help either that I didn't know what was going on. We entered the hallways and waited in front of our classroom. Minutes later we all got texts saying a teacher had gone crazy and lit herself on fire. We all rushed out of the building and saw smoke and an ambulance. I thought it was just a joke gone wrong. Never in my life did I really think a teacher would attempt suicide. Everyone was confused and in shock. It didn't help either that I couldn't completely understand the situation. Some people were in tears. I never imagined that in my time here in France something like this would happen. To anyone. Over 100 students saw what happened and a few try to put out the fire. I have heard that the teacher was having a hard time and just snapped. She poured gas on herself in the middle of class and lit herself on fire. She screamed and started to run. Then she fell to the ground. I don't know her current condition. What makes me really think is the fact that I could have walked right passed that very moment and seen the whole thing or that I could have seen this teacher in the hallways or school area during the day and said hi, and never would have guessed that something like this would have happened.  It only goes to show you that you never know what will happen. You always have to just live life to the fullest. Every moment you get.

Starting to Speak

So I have been here for a month a 2 weeks or so. And yet I am still scared to speak in French. I know the whole point of coming here was to improve my french and to use it, but it seems like whenever I go to talk I lose all the words I have learned and everything goes blank. I don't know how I am going to get better though if I don't practice. I took 2 years of French in school before jumping in this. Yet I feel as though I have only taken 1. I feel so lost all the time. Although I am starting to understand more and more each day, I still can't tell people how I feel. It's so hard because I feel like I have been studying the wrong language this whole time. From the accents, to writing, to reading, to talking, and even observation. Everyone is different from what I learned in school. All the stereotypes are completely off base too. I am determined to disprove as many as I can. But that is  a different story. Anyway starting of the beginning of November my family is going to try to only speak french with me and I have to respond in french. I hope this ends well. Oh at least I can text in french though with my friends and they text me in english. This way we are helping each other out. =) Well I better get to bed. GOOD NIGHT!

Getting Used To Things

It's been over three weeks now and finally things are becoming normal. The daily routine is setting in and I don't feel so lost anymore. =) Although there is one thing I have yet to get used to, that is the time change. It's nine hours, but boy do you feel it! It's really hard in school during the afternoon because not only are the school days longer here but I can't seem to keep myself awake. I always feel so tired around 3 in the afternoon. And struggle to stay awake. Sometimes I feel myself snoozing in the middle of class. OOPS! But other than that small fact everything seems to be falling into place. 

I have also been getting help from my other teachers here too. Number 1 tip: Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it! The people that are around you are happy to help and will help, but you need to ask them for it because they can't read your mind! I have asked for help and now I am feeling like I am making more of my trip here. 

It's hard not to miss home every now and then, but I still have e-mail and a phone to keep in contact with people. And it's getting easier everyday to go about my day.

*** Feel free to ask me any questions or ask me to post about certain topics! Sometimes I run out of ideas too!***

Missing Home

It seems like a dream fulfilled to be here right now! It's been two weeks and everything seems to be going smoothly. Everything except feeling homesickness. I miss understanding everything, my friends, family, and being my hyper-self. Everything is so new and I don't know how much change I can take. Even though everyone is so nice here I still miss home. Everyone will eventually feel it, and it's different for everyone. I have called home a few times just to hear my mother's voice. The first time I called her I cried afterwards finally realizing how much I actually missed her. Making friends seemed to be the easiest thing in the world, but conversating with them is a whole another thing. They want to talk to you, but are afraid you won't understand. I know that I should be using my french, but I am scared and willing to admit that! I will hopefully get the courage to do so soon! Everything seems so different from home.

I miss everything I used to know and love. But I must make the most of the opportunity I have been given because it is more likely than not to NOT happen again.

Why I bothered to learn French.

It's said that the more languages you know the better off you are in the future. That is part of the reason I wanted to learn french. But in fact I took french partly because I didn't want to take spanish at my school and also because I had always in interested in the french culture. My goal was to be able to learn three-four languages, that way I would be prepared for my future. As it turns out though I would rather expand my language vocabulary even further than that because our world is constiently changing and I want to be prepared for it. I am beginning to understand more about the french language, but I know I still have a long long way to go. That is why I am looking forward in studying abroad and cleaning up my french.

My Fears of Change

Although I am extremely happy and excited about studying abroad. I'm also really nervous. Being away from the people I love and completely out of my comfort zone is kinda scary. I'm afraid that when I leave and come back that everything will be different. Which is the truth. But I don't know how different things will be. Will my friends move on and change? What will happen to my understanding of schoo here? How much will change and will I be able to deal with it? These are what kind of questions I have been asking myself even before I knew for a fact that was going to France. I know that everything has to change because time stops for no one. And I'm happy that things are going to change, for the most part. I'm just afraid I'll not be able to comfort it when I get back. But regardless of how I feel I know that I will have to wait and see what happens. I can't see into the future. So for now my worries will be there, but I will always look on the bright side of things and make the most of the present and the opportunity I am given.

The Long Wait.... It's FINALLY Becomeing a Reality

Today I finally realized how close everything is. I am finally on the last few laps of my journey towards France. I leave the 29th of August and I feel as though its going to come sooner than I will be able to process it. Before today, I waited anxiously for almost two weeks to know whether I would truely fulfill my dream of studying abroad. I kept thinking of the worst cases that I would not be able to go. I didn't get much sleep either. What helped me the most was my close friends who I had talked to about how nervous I was. I don't think I could have stayed sane without them. They are my rock.

That is why I have decided that the first thing I do when I get to the Hub city before the other study abroad students leave the states or before we leave to our different cities in the same country, we must all get contact information so that we lean on each other if we need someone to talk to that is going throught the same thing as us.

Anyways. What I really wanted to say is that my dream has finally took flight and has become a reality! =D

I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.” - Georgia O’Keeffe.

This quotes explains my feeling whenever I do something new. I'm usually scared, nervous, and excited all at once. This I think is a normal feeling for peopl, if not feel free to tell me I'm crazy. Regardless of this anxiousness I feel that if there weren't any risks taken I wouldn't have any stories to share and my life would be epically boring. That is why the motto that goes so well with this specific quote is: The biggest risk in life, Is the one you do not take.

Ever have that moment of which your just scared and don't know what to do? That anything goes wrong your whole life will seem like its completely ruined? Well if you don't take those risks, chances are you will never know if the situation would have benefited you or not. This applies to everything that happens in your life. I know that when I am faced with a life changeing situation I always think of two things. 1) Will what I'm doing kill me. 2) What happens afterward? These two things play a ping pong match in my brain. But I found that if I just don't go for it, I usually chicken out and have miss a perfect opportunity that may have once in a lifetime.

So take a leap of faith and challenge yourself. That is what I'm doing with study abroad and I hope everything will go will and I have the time of my life.

The Five Things That I'll Miss Most When I'm Abroad.

I believe that the there will always be an emptiness that I will feel when I leave home because I have to leave things behind when I travel. I can't take my whole life with me wherever I go. I simply don't have the lugages capacity or the amount of money that would cost me. The five things I would miss most would be my dogs, my friends, my family, my school, and most of all my safety net. I'm not exactly sure how I will react to everything, but one thing is for sure, I'm going to miss and worry about them.

They say homesickness happens to everyone and it depends how you deal with it. My theory is that homesickness only effects you if your not making the most out of your trip. Like most teenagers I have many friends that are dear to me. This makes the goodbyes even harder and my family is important to me as well. Even when I have internet access I'll still be constently worrying about what's happening to them. I'll very worried about my dogs. They are one of the most important things in my life and if anything would happen to them I would be crushed. That aside my main concern is the school and my lack of safety net. I will be at a disadvantage with my language skills at a rocky start, but with work I know I can manage. The safety net though I will have to establish quickly, but carefuly because if my net isn't secure I may fall victim to an extreme homesickness. Although everything here sounds like I am going to be a completely mess I think I can manage. This is an amazing opportunity and I intend to make the most of it! =D

Top Ten Reasons That I am Studying Abroad

1. Traveling/ Studying abroad is a life-altering experience!
         Seeing new things helps keeps an open mind. You learn so much from the people you meet and the places you see.

2. Learn about yourself and gain independence.
        When you travel you learn more about yourself in the sense that you don;t have to be a certain way. You don't have to be the person that you were at home, no one will judge you. When there's no one to lean on you have to learn how to step up and care for yourself.

3. Gain perspective on your own country and culture.
        Stepping out of you comfort zone and learning new things, you never know what is ahead of you. It helps you understand why people assume things about you when you don't even know them because of where your from.

4. Learn a language in the country where it is spoken.
        Studying abroad allows students to learn from the best and be challenged in learning the language quickly and effectively. This is also great because when you make friends in that country in order to communicate with them you have to learn their language. It can be a fun experience if you just let yourself make mistakes.

5. Resume builder.
         Being open-minded and willing to take a challenge is part of being a well-rounded individual. these are
also qualitites collegs and employers look for and study abroad provides.

6. Programs work with any academic program.
        It's important to know that even though opportunities should be taken quickly when studying abroad. It's not a one time thing. You can always reapply with different/ same companies. Also although I am a high school student venturing out into this, college is also another opportuity to do this kind of program.

7. Experiencing hands-on learning.
        It's not a text book that you can read and take a test on. You are in an environment that you must learn quickly to survive. You have to adapt. Like the saying goes: when in rome do as the romans do.

8. See the world.
       You get to not only leave your home country but also see a new one and learn about a different culture. Unlike a visitor you are in the country not to sight-see but to learn so much more. You get to be quick on your feet and creative in communicating. You get to have fun and learn.

9. Make connections that last a lifetime.
         When your away from home you meet new people. These people can be the check-out clerk at a market or a random person you meet, either way they make what your experience that more memorable. You'll always remember the situation bett if you meet great people.

10. Being away from home is fun, exciting, nerve-wrecking, and AMAZING!
         It's up to you to make the most of you trip. I know I will try my very very hardest to have the time of my life.

The Beginning

It's true that you never know what is going to happen in the future. I am on my way to becomeing a well rounded student and civilian of the future. I don't know how everything seemed to happen. Let my start off with how it began. I first wanted to study abroad at the end of my 8th grade year. I really wanted to travel and see the world. I wanted to be a study abroad student because you get to see things from a different point of view in the country that you are going to. Sure traveling as a visitor into a country is easier, but you don't get to learn about the people and see it throught the eyes of the people who live there. My top three choices were England, France, and Spain. These three countries all have amazing history and architecture. I wanted to learn more. So i started to do more reasearch on those countries trying to find boarding schools and opportunities to study abroad. I came accross AYUSA and knew it was the program that I needed to sign up for. Although it took me a year and a half to talk my parents into letting my go throught process of applying I finally did it. After taking three months to finish my ten essays and getting all my proper documents signed, I sent in my application. It took a month or so. The hardest was waiting to know if I was accepted into the program or not. I was so nervous. I would constently check my e-mails and voice messages to see if any of the program leaders had contacted me. I was also very excited. So imaged how happy I was when I was told I was accepted! After being accepted and waiting another month or so to see what family I would be placed in and what city I would be staying in, I am finally in the final stages of my journey to France.