Holidays

Boy and I starting to miss my family more and more each passing day that is getting closer to the holidays. Halloween is today and already I feel so out of place. I didn't get a costume because they don't sell adult or teenager ones here in France... actually they do but only in certain stores and they don't wear them on Halloween day. Anyways, I miss everything I love I know about Halloween. The trick-or-treaters, the candy, the decorations, the atmosphere, the scariness, the friends, the laughs, and so on and so forth. I don't know how to explain the feeling of excitement of seeing what they DO here, but the depression of what they don't.

Another holiday that they don't celebrate here is Thanksgiving. The time when family sits around a big table of food and eat until they are about to explode even when there is more food to eat. I'm going to miss waking up way to early to cook for way to long only to eat for a short period of time. I'm going to miss all the family laughs and jokes, not to mention my dogs trying to get food and being under the table as we eat.

Christmas is also another one I will miss. Although they celebrate it here, I'm not with family. My new family here is absolutely amazing and I love them just like I do with my family back home, but it's still not the same. I'll miss my family decorating the Christmas tree and all the lights that are lit at Little America.  Missing all the presents that are given to everyone, all the smiles. My heart hurts so much with all that I will be missing.

I know I wanted to come here and I thought I was emotionally ready to be here. But I can't help but feel so depressed these next coming months. Not to mention the New Year too and my 17th birthday. I am going to miss everything back home and make so many memories. Is it weird I seem like I am contradicting myself?? Excited to see new things, but scared and depressed that I missing so much with my family and friends back home.....